I, Spike: Holiday Capitalist Pig! Please-- Buy My Stuff!!

Act today and help keep this dog from eating shit!

Hey Y'all,
Welcome to this week's exercise in hypocrisy! Even though I enjoy bad-mouthing the holidays and also condemning over-consumerism, I am here today to peddle to you my books. And I am going to suggest what lovely holiday gifts they'd make. Ready:

BUY SPIKE'S BOOKS FOR YOUR LOVED ONES THIS HOLIDAY SEASON! BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS SEASON'S GREETINGS! LIKE A COPY OF PISSED OFF UNDER THE FESTIVUS POLE!


Okay let me 'fess up. Remember the whole bullshit with The Moth? And remember how I had that bad case of the What Ifs? As in What If this performance gets me noticed? Well part of that prompted me to acquire many copies of some of my books, which I had intended to sell at the merch table. Now I have that back stock and I was thinking... (uh-oh, not that again). If I can sell these books to y'all, I can pay my mortgage this month and still have money left to feed Rebound the delicious wet food she so loves, so she can stop eating Dante's shit and then barfing it on my bed.

So how many birds is that with one stone if you buy my books? Let's see: I keep my house, Rebound gets fed, my sheets stay clean and you don't have to fight the crowds to go shopping. I'll even sign, gift wrap, and mail the books to your recipients.

Or maybe you have all my books already. And maybe your friends do, too. So okay then, what about giving the gift of a Spike Writing Workshop? That can be arranged. Just let me know and I'll print up a nice gift certificate and mail that along. So here's info on the books and the workshops.

I've got three books in stock-- scroll down for ordering info:

Everyone's favorite holiday topic: RAGE! 

This one is safe for Moms and Grandmoms! It's about quilting.

A collection of my essays. UT Press photoshopped out my Bush is  a Punk Ass Chump bumper sticker, but I had a bunch of mini ones printed up so act now and I'll include one of those. 

The books are $20 each. Postage for 1 is $4, for 2 is $6 and for 3 is $7.

If you prefer to give the gift of a writing workshop-- my next one starts in January, runs for six weeks, and costs $300. If you email me before the 20th and tell me the secret code (which is Rebound Eats Dante's Poop) I will give you a $50 discount.

If you want to order stuff, just email me.

Thanks!