Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Okay, Which One of You Jokers...

Pitched me to the Discovery Channel? I got an email yesterday from a producer for a home improvement show and they want to know if I'd like them to come and spruce up my house. I actually love this idea. Not sure if they'll follow through and actually pick me to be on, but at least they want to talk about it. This both amuses and excites me. I have no idea how they found me.

A couple of years ago, back when I was in that miserable marriage, we had a chance to be on a different TV show. I am not joking when I say there was a non-disclosure clause in the hundreds of pages of legal paperwork that said if I ever mentioned what the show was they could sue me for SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS (hahahaha) but I did sign the paperwork. So I can't tell you the show, only that had we been involved, it would've called for our "family" (how loosely I use the term) temporarily trading out someone/something in our house for a similar someone/something in someone else's house. We actually made it to the point where they were planning to fly us out to LA for a screen test but then we got a mysterious call during which a faux-apologetic producer, clearly reading from a cue card, said she was so sorry and all that, but they changed their minds. She wouldn't say why.

I didn't care but my then-husband got really stressed out about the whole thing and pouted for a good stretch. I think he thought that show was going to be it, his ship arriving, his ticket to fame, his forty-year delayed dream of being discovered as a rock star finally realized and blah blah blah. Whatever.

I'm not worried about fame or being discovered. A nice paint job, maybe a little free landscaping, now that would be nice.

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