Hey Y'all,
Well that was fun and fast and YES WE DID! Hooray for Obama! Here's my collection of election haiku. Thanks for tuning in. And sorry to be a pain in the ass but please remember, My KickStarter Campaign is running through November 30th. Please, please, kick in a few bucks and help me publish my new book, The Maine Event. Thanks!
Love,
Spike
Election Haiku #1
Barack Obama
Slow and steady wins the race.
Mitt Romney: eat me.
Election Haiku #2
Stephen Colbert called
Donald Trump scrotum holster
I love that so much!
Election Haiku #3
Hey Mitt? Just kidding.
Really I do NOT want you
to eat me. REALLY.
Election Haiku #4
On CNN the
Talking head can't stop rubbing
tip of Florida
Election Haiku #5
Ori took remote
Switched to The Fifth Element
Just as annoying.
Election Haiku #6
Yo, Bitches-- Jesse
and Heisenberg say chill out
Barack gonna win
Election Haiku #7
Colorado You
Surprise me in a good way
you're blue as teen balls
Election Haiku #8
Current vote count looks
like tight game of words with friends
O needs triple word!
Election Haiku #9
Jersey picks Barack
Mitt says, "No mor(mon) meatballs
for you, Chris Christie!"
Election Haiku #10
In other news... the
Rape supporters are losing
All in God's Big Plan!
Election Haiku #11
Dear Wisconsin-- Thanks!
I'm making you a cheesecake
with cheese bought from you!
Election Haiku #12
Talking Heads say, "It's
getting tighter and tighter!"
cue porno bass line.
Election Haiku #13 (PSA)
So, like my haiku?
Well you'll love my brand new book.
See my KickStarter!
Election Haiku #14
One forty eight to
One sixty. reminds me of
good and bad weight days!
Election Haiku #15
My chickens called it
Before Nate Silver.
They said: Barack! Barack! Braaaack!
Election Haiku #16
Good news and bad news
Daily Show on. How can I
begin to compete?
Election Haiku #17
Pre-California
Barack is at two two nine
let's not get cocky
Election Haiku #18
Oh what the fudge-- let's
get cocky. Ready? "Hey Mitt!"
[group raspberry now!]
Election Haiku #19
Pennsylvania?
I'm gettin' new womb...
having your baby!
Election Haiku #20
Yes we did again!
Two five seven current count
Now-- lucky thirteen!
Election Haiku #21
I love the smell of
Whoop Ass in the morning and
on election day!
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