Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Haikus 2012 -- The Collection!

Hey Y'all,
Well that was fun and fast and YES WE DID! Hooray for Obama! Here's my collection of election haiku. Thanks for tuning in. And sorry to be a pain in the ass but please remember, My KickStarter Campaign is running through November 30th. Please, please, kick in a few bucks and help me publish my new book, The Maine Event. Thanks!

Election Haiku #1
Barack Obama
Slow and steady wins the race.
Mitt Romney: eat me.

 Haiku #2 
Stephen Colbert called 
Donald Trump scrotum holster 
I love that so much!

Election Haiku #3
Hey Mitt? Just kidding.
Really I do NOT want you
to eat me. REALLY.

Election Haiku #4
On CNN the
Talking head can't stop rubbing
tip of Florida

Election Haiku #5 
Ori took remote 
Switched to The Fifth Element 
Just as annoying.

Election Haiku #6
Yo, Bitches-- Jesse 
and Heisenberg say chill out
Barack gonna win

Election Haiku #7 
Colorado You 
Surprise me in a good way 
you're blue as teen balls

Election Haiku #8
Current vote count looks
like tight game of words with friends
O needs triple word!

Election Haiku #9
Jersey picks Barack
Mitt says, "No mor(mon) meatballs
for you, Chris Christie!"

Election Haiku #10 
In other news... the 
Rape supporters are losing 
All in God's Big Plan!

Election Haiku #11
Dear Wisconsin-- Thanks!
I'm making you a cheesecake
with cheese bought from you!

Election Haiku #12
Talking Heads say, "It's
getting tighter and tighter!"
cue porno bass line.

Election Haiku #13 (PSA) 
So, like my haiku? 
Well you'll love my brand new book. 
See my KickStarter!

Election Haiku #14
One forty eight to
One sixty. reminds me of 
good and bad weight days!

Election Haiku #15 
My chickens called it 
Before Nate Silver. 
They said: Barack! Barack! Braaaack!

Election Haiku #16 
Good news and bad news 
Daily Show on. How can I 
begin to compete?

Election Haiku #17
Barack is at two two nine
let's not get cocky

 Election Haiku #18 
Oh what the fudge-- let's 
get cocky. Ready? "Hey Mitt!" 
[group raspberry now!]

Election Haiku #19
I'm gettin' new womb...
having your baby!

Election Haiku #20
Yes we did again!
Two five seven current count
Now-- lucky thirteen!

Election Haiku #21
I love the smell of
Whoop Ass in the morning and
on election day!

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