Monday, March 31, 2008

My Letter at the Austin Chronicle Website

I wrote a response to Ricardo. It posted at the Chronicle today.

Here it is. You might need to scroll down a little.

Friday, March 28, 2008

On The Road

Saturday March 29th from 10 a.m. til 10 p.m. On the Road will be read in its entirety at Spider House. I'm emceeing the front and back ends, going to kick it off and close it down. This is to celebrate the current residency of the original 120 foot scroll upon which the book was originally written-- it's on loan to the Ransom Center so come hear us read and then go check out the original.

Oh My God! This is TOO RICH!

Yesterday I posted a note saying there's a letter in this week's Austin Chronicle from a guy trashing the Dick Monologues. He says we're "retro-feminist sexism." Has he seen the show? No.

His name is Ricardo Acevedo.

Today, one of our cast members, Jaycee, emailed me this note:

The guy who wrote that letter is the photographer who took this picture of my legs. He sold it to Camel Cigarettes for their downtown events venue, as well as several private art collectors. But he never even called me about the picture, or offered me anything for it-- not even a print for myself!! Here is his website:

Please note that it's HIS lap in the picture, and I'm actually stepping ON HIS DICK!!! (We're sitting on tall bar chairs, across a table from each other, and he's holding the camera above his head and shooting down.)
And no, I'm not kidding.
Here is the picture:

And I'm thinking, no way-- how lucky could we be? We're called sexist, by a sexist photographer, who happened not just to take this sexist picture, but it's of one of our monologists. (Nice legs, Jaycee.)

So I call the phone number on Ricardo's site and he answers, and I don't id myself upfront, I just ask him a few questions:

Did you write the letter? (yes.)
Did you see the show? (no.)
Did you take a picture of a woman stepping on your dick? (no.)

I told him a little more about the picture and he suddenly remembered-- oh yeah, he had taken it!

Then I identified myself and the backpedaling began. Ricardo wanted me to know there's no such thing as bad PR. I told him I knew that and as a journalist I was simply fact checking, before writing a letter to the Chron, to make sure he hadn't seen the show and that he had taken the photo in question.

So this is a big thank you to Ricardo because, you know, there is no such thing as bad PR.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dick Monologues: A Show and A Controversy!

Hey Everyone,
We have a show Sunday afternoon, 2 p.m., Hyde Park Theatre, not quite sold out but getting there. For tickets, email me:

MEANWHILE-- so exciting! After trying and failing to get covered by the Chron and the Statesman, at long last we got mentioned in the Chron-- in a letter to the editor from a guy who has never seen the show and who is bashing it! Talk about fodder for a Dick Monologue. I will now post the link to the letter, and the link will break, and Ori will fix it. I have to give him work to do so he can feel important. Okay, Ori, ready? Fix THIS link, if you know what I’m saying:

Letter to Editor about Dick

Austinist Column: Three Weddings and a Funeral

New column is up here:

Three Weddings and a Funeral

if you dig it, please hit Recommend.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

With Thanks to Bruce

I am sitting at Philadelphia International Airport. In fifteen minutes, I board a plane for Austin. I am, to put it mildly, looking forward to this, all former fear of flying gone. I am drinking a black and tan-- just one. I just left my father's funeral, a party I swore I would never in my life attend. On the other hand, I did not dance on his grave, as I certainly swore I would. And so, I guess you never know.

Anyway, they are playing absolute shit for music but somewhere, somehow, into the mix comes Bruce Springsteen singing I Came for You. If anything saved me from my Jersey youth and inspired me to get out, it was Bruce.

I will write more about the "event" soon. I did not do so earlier in the week for reasons I will also explain. For now, they lyrics to I Came for You:

For You

Princess cards she sends me with her regards
Barroom eyes shine vacancy, to see her you gotta look hard
Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her cheshire smile. I’ll stand on file, she’s all I ever wanted
But you let your blue walls get in the way of these facts
Honey, get your carpetbaggers off my back
You wouldn’t even give me time to cover my tracks
You said "here’s your mirror and your ball and jacks"
But they’re not what I came for, and I’m sure you see that too
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long
And your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free

Crawl into my ambulance, your pulse is getting weak
Reveal yourself all now to me girl while you’ve got the strength to speak
`cause they’re waiting for you at bellevue with their oxygen masks
But I could give it all to you now if only you could ask
And don’t call for your surgeon even he says it’s too late
It’s not your lungs this time, it’s your heart that holds your fate
Don’t give me money, honey, I don’t want it back
You and your pony face and your union jack
Well take your local joker and teach him how to act
I swear I was never that way even when I really cracked
Didn’t you think I knew that you were born with the power of a locomotive
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
And your chelsea suicide with no apparent motive
You could laugh and cry in a single sound

And your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds
Remember how I kept you waiting when it was my turn to be the god?

You were not quite half so proud when I found you broken on the beach
Remember how I poured salt on your tongue and hung just out of reach
And the band they played the homecoming theme as I caressed your cheek
They ragged, jagged melody she still clings to me like a leach
But that medal you wore on your chest always got in the way
Like a little girl with a trophy so soft to buy her way
We were both hitchhikers but you had your ear tuned to the roar
Of some metal-tempered engine on an alien, distant shore
So you, left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
And it’s not that nursery mouth I came back for
It’s not the way you’re stretched out on the floor
`cause I’ve broken all your windows and I’ve rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores? and you should know that’s true
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long
And your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Austinist Post Up: Michael Stipe and Me

Hello All Six of You,
I have a new post up at Austinist and I've got some posts up about SXSWi at LaunchPad Coworking.

If you dig the Austinist thingie, please click recommend.

And don't forget-- you have to come to see the Dick Monologues. Really. We have new monologues, some old favorites, and the Victory Grill is a totally kickass venue.



Hope to see y'all there. Victory Grill should be a great show-- cool venue. Here's info-- please spread the word:

Spike Gillespie Presents:

stories told by women
(and men)
about the ways
men wield their appendages!


For tickets & info for Victory Grill

- AND -

511 WEST 43rd STREET
For tickets & info for Hyde Park

Jaycee Wilemon, Laura Lane, Suzi Galletti,
Marrit Ingman, Rudy Ramirez, Sarah Barnes,
Southpaw Jones

and introducing:
Buffy Cram and Chandra Washington

and, of course - Spike Gillespie

along with Guest Artists
Tricia Mitchell and Linda Jann Lewis

It's Gonna Be HOT! HOT! HOT!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Austinist Post Up: Zen and the Art of SXSW

Here's the link:

Spike Austinist

If you like it please recommend it.

I just got back from a day of music that started at 9 and now it's 7. Met Mick Jones AND got into the ACL taping for REM. Woo-hoo. What a day.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I OWN The Internet!

Got two new posts up today. One here at LaunchPad Coworking and another one here at The Austinist. If you like the latter, please click recommend. And please know that every time you click on either one of these posts, an underprivileged child in a white upper middle class neighborhood gets a new pony.

Oh, and thanks to my boss/friend (my fross? my briend?) Julie Gomoll for the bad ass graphics at the LaunchPad Post. How I wet my pants when I saw that.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Another Typical Day In Austin

Today Diane and I were out running errands and we came upon this guy-- his name is Chorizo-- leashed to a post outside of a Mailboxes, Etc. He can do one trick. His human holds up a piece of pig kibble and says, "Spin, Chorizo!" and Chorizo-- I swear I saw this with my own eyes-- will spin around.

Beat Love Baby: Pictures

So a couple of weeks ago I had a great time doing a Beat Love Poetry reading at the Scoot Inn with Jesse Sublett and a wonderful DJ who's name escapes me and my darling Southpaw Jones. This is to celebrate the imminent arrival of the original scroll manuscript of On The Road which arrives at the Ransom Center on March 7th. You should go see it. Meanwhile, here are some pictures from the evening-- go to This Link and then click on gallery. Be sure to get a load of picture #25, my favorite.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Dicking It Up in Dallas and More

Hey Everyone,
Greetings. Am hitting the ground running after another lovely Luddite weekend. The Dick Monologues is heading to Dallas this weekend for a couple of shows in the Out of the Loop Festival. We are psyched. Our shows are Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. Please please please tell all your Dallas friends to come and see us.

In Austin we're doing a benefit for the Victory Grill on March 21st-- that's a Friday evening. And we're doing a matinee at the Hyde Park Theatre on Sunday, March 30th, at 2 p.m. For the two Austin shows we'll be introducing new DickWits-- Buffy Cram and Chandra Washington who both have dick-a-licious pieces to perform for you.

Ticket info for Austin is:

TIcket info for Dallas is at:

Hope to see you at a show,