1. On Sunday, our darling Ira Glass came across the radio waves to announce that Mike Daisey, whose piece on This American Life in January garnered more downloads than any other ever, had made up a bunch of shit in his "true" story. Listening to Ira, Mike sat thinking, "Please don't eat the Daisey," while Spike sat at home thinking, "Jesus, this reminds me of days I waited tables and had to deal with couples who thought it was a good idea to break up in public"
2. Also on Sunday, Spike gave Ira a Kick Ass Award and rescinded her earlier invitation to Mike to, "Call next time you're in Austin!" which she issued when Mike emailed her after hearing that she'd been fucked over by some dumbass producer at The Moth. In fact, Spike told Mike he is banned from Austin.
3. On Monday, Spike announced she was preparing a show called I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY, which sold out, almost instantly, for the foreseeable future.
4. On Wednesday, realizing that (fuck fuck fuck) now she actually had to write the show, Spike asked y'all for some help developing the plot.
5. Yesterday, acknowledging that she could not forge ahead with the writing until she decided on the right prop, Spike asked you to help her choose which glass to use in her performance. You sentimental fools overwhelmingly chose the Ira Glass. YAWN. Sooooo predictable, people! SO predictable!
6. Which brings us to today. Okay I really am just about ready to write now. But I need a tiny bit more help. It dawned on me that, while I do want my set to stay sort of true to Mike's set, and while Mike doesn't use anything more than a glass of water, a couple of sheets of paper, and an invisible Sack of Bullshit, I probably do need a little more than that. Because I want my audience to feel Mike up there on the stage with me, I need something symbolic of Mike so that his presence remains... well... present throughout the performance. Luckily, I got a degree in English from the illustrious University of South Florida (Go Brahman Bulls!) so I am well-versed in the ways of potent symbolism. In fact, I came up with so many options that, once again, as with needing help selecting the proper drinking vessel, now I need you to vote on which of the following props will best represent the Spirit of Mike Daisey as I take to the stage to present I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY. Are you ready? Great. Here we go:
|As with the daisy costume, this one might be too blatant. Or hell, maybe it's too subtle? Do you get it? DO YOU GET IT? I am TAKING A BITE OUT OF APPLE!!|