Update: I STILL Need Your Help! Vote for Your Favorite Prop for My New Show: I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY!

This week, as some of you know, I've spent a lot of time (some would say entirely too much time) considering the whole Mike Daisey thing. I decided a show was in order, and I even came up with a title: I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY! Well, folks, the response has been overwhelming! The show is sold out well into 2013. But I have a problem. The truth is (and by truth, I mean the actual truth, as opposed to the pretend truth) that I have yet to write the show. 

FUCK!

As I mentioned yesterday, I feel like, before I can proceed with the writing, I really need to get my props squared away. In particular, I need to select just the right drinking vessel to set on my desk. As we know, even the most stripped down sets convey a certain message, a sort of je na sais quoi if you will. Proper props might seem irrelevant at first glance, but trust me, a seasoned monologist, they can pack a tremendous subconscious punch in your audience. The wrong glass could find them storming out of a performance, the way a bunch of folks stormed out of a Mike Daisey show. (I know, I know-- you're thinking, But Spike, those were right wing Christian nutjobs who walked out because of the whole "I fucked Paris Hilton" thing. Ah, but that's where you're wrong, people-- believe me, it was a subconscious revulsion to Daisey's overly simplistic glass that drove them away.)

The right glass, on the other hand, tells your audience something important. It relays a sense of who you are-- are you everyday folk just like them? Do you have a sense of humor? Are you slightly above them? Way above them? 

Now are you getting the picture? It is COMPLICATED.

This morning, I've been playing around with options. Below you'll find seven photos featuring an array of vessels. I ask you to please tear yourself away from using your iPhone to sign online petitions against FoxConn long enough to voice your opinion. Because your vote counts, people. And I cannot proceed to the all important writing of I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY unless and until I hear from you. Thanks in advance for your assistance on this pressing matter. 

Backstory: this is a handmade coffee mug I got at a local craft fair. I think if I go with this option it could convey to my audience that I support local, Made in America products. On the other hand, it might make me look like a dirty fucking hippie. Your thoughts? 

This stainless water bottle was, in fact, Made in China. However, the label insists that it was made ethically in China. So maybe if I go with this option, it will subtly scream: "I, Spike Gillespie, in purchasing this item, singlehandedly sent a loud message to the bastard Chinese government that I will only purchase ethically produced Chinese products, or at least products which, if not actually ethically made, come with a label to dupe me into thinking so, thus assuaging any momentary guilt I feel as I whip out my credit card." The potential drawback to this one? Well, if I use it, it could give the impression that I'm a yoga loser, or, worse, a LuLuLemon supporter. And we all know how I feel about LuLuLemon 

Note that this mug features a handle that looks like a lady's fishnetted leg! Also, note the serious look on my face. I'm going for the Study in Contrasts effect here, my facial expression saying, "Damn right I am a humorless feminist!" while the mug itself hints that I have a playful sense of humor about the objectification of women. What do you think? I worry that, consider the topic of the show-- I WAS RAPED BY MIKE DAISEY!-- it might get the audience thinking about how, if you dress a certain slutty way, you're just asking for it. 

I didn't save the label on this one, but I'm guessing it, too, was Made in China. On the other hand, it is a REUSABLE "disposable" cup. So there's the potential to give off a sense of irony. And, too, it could suggest that I Heart The Environment, because unlike other people who use throwaway cups, I know that this cup, when it eventually winds up in a landfill, might well be repurposed by the trolls living and scavenging at the dump.

Gilt-rimmed goblet! As noted yesterday, I'm pretty sure this would suggest that I'm part of the 1%, which would probably be off-putting to 99% of my audience. So I'm not going to use this one. But I wanted to show it to you. Isn't it so pretty? Too bad it reminds me of my last marriage-- it was a wedding gift-- and if you think Mike Daisey is a flaming narcissist, well, damn, you should meet my last ex-husband! 

A handleless teacup from Japan. It's pretty and delicate, just like me! And I think it says, "You know, there are LOTS of other places in Asia we can get stuff from."

And then there's this one-- my Ira Glass. What do you think? Too blatant? 

Let's Have a Group Hug for Ira Glass!

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Hey Y'all,

After listening to this morning's broadcast of This American Life, I feel sad for poor Ira, who got duped by Mike Daisey. If you missed the show, you can listen to the podcast here. The short version is this-- ala Oprah and James Frey (who, ironically, Mike Daisey did a piece about), Ira got duped into believing a mostly fabricated story created by Daisey, and presented as truth, about the working conditions of the Chinese factory workers who assemble iProducts.

There are so many sad and stupid parts to this story. For example-- conditions for workers in factories DO suck, which has been established by reputable sources. So Daisey didn't really need to lie now, did he? But in the tradition of a long line of narcissistic fucks who put their own popularity ahead of the facts (I'm talking to you Jason Blair, James Frey, Stephen Glass and the whole lot of you assholes), Daisey was far more concerned with gaining accolades (and before he was found to be fraudulent, he got PLENTY-- the original episode of TAL on which he appeared was the most downloaded TAL podcast EVER), than presenting the truth.

What's Worse? When he was found out, and then brought on the show to explain himself, did he back down? Did he apologize? NO, NO, NO. In a sort of doublespeak of a level not witnessed since the Bush administration, he babbled incomprehensibly. He also posted a note at his blog-- where we are not allowed to comment (of course not) standing by himself.

Hey, Mike? Maybe you need to dump that water on your pants cause THEY'RE ON FIRE, dude.

Here's a kooky aside-- I actually had an email exchange with Mike awhile back. He was coming to Austin to host the Moth at the Paramount. I had been invited to perform in that show, but backed out when the dumbshit producer kept trying to push me into places I didn't want to go, trying to get me to shape my story with details she was inserting that weren't true to the story. Do we see a theme here? Mike was nice enough in our exchange, and I thanked him and told him to give me a holler next time he's in town, and I offered to promote his one man show. I AM OFFICIALLY RESCINDING THAT INVITATION MIKE. Do NOT come to Austin. Leave us ALONE.

Here's another kooky aside-- I have also had email exchanges with Ira, since I have been trying for about eight years to get on the show. Ira has always been super nice and super real.

So while, yes, TAL could have and should have done a better job of fact checking, the real problem is not TAL, it's Mike Daisey. I am feeling very bad for Ira right now. But I am also feeling the love for him. Because unlike Mike Daisey, Ira came out of the gates this morning owning up to TAL's responsibility in presenting this story, he apologized profusely, and he did so multiple times. He exhibited grace under pressure and so, though he can't turn back time and unrun the story, he did not run and hide.

It's okay, Ira, we all make mistakes. You still KICK ASS!

For this, I commend him and give him a Kick Ass Award. Thank you, Ira!

I invite all of you to post your Ira support here. I'll be sure to send him your messages.